Well I haven't written in a while mostly because I have been really busy, I had a guest at my house for a while, and been working both of my jobs, not to mention consulting and trying to put out the fires in my every day life. Recently, my life really has gotten pretty bad, and even though I am trying really hard, and doing all I can, it seemed for a while that I may still sink, as if success might never have really been an option for me, just an illusion there to toy with me and torment me. Even though that maybe true I still do the best I can everyday, and hope for the best thought I try to prepare for the worst.
I have great friends though and parents, and I am really touched to find out time and time again that there are people that notice how hard you try and that are there for you when you really need them.
For some reason I have been a emotional wreck for a little while here, I am not sure if its because I don't accept help easily, or that I wonder if I deserve it, or how I can pay the person back, but I still hold to to one of my believes, I always have to strive to do my best, and sometimes that means great sacrifice, but in the end when I don't have regrets, I thank myself.
Last of all I want to mention a few things that have touched me recently, my parents seeing how hard I am trying have helped me out for the holidays, giving me some stuff that will help me keep my head above water, another friend of mine constantly reminds me how hard I am working, and it's nice to see that some one see's it, and the small things that my girlfriend does every day.
Enough about me, I want to also remember some other people, and things in my life that help me. Eva Cassidy with the voice of an angel, and the most touching renditions of songs I have ever heard, helps me remember that life is but a short flash in the greater fireworks of the universe, and that you have little time to enjoy the spark of life. There are other things that help me through the days, but I will talk about them another time, when I am not on such a long rant. and to leave you with one of my favorite quotes..
"Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream."
-Edgar Allan Poe, Dream Within A Dream, A